Just a Spoonful

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.  Hebrews 4:16

Let's just be honest here for a second.  Can we do that?

Thanks.  I knew I could count on you.

Life is sometimes brutal.  So much so it takes the breath right out of you.

There are days I find myself begging, pleading, petitioning God to help me, to give me more grace to make it through the day... maybe even that particular moment.

Yeah, I'm weird like that.

I'm the one mouthing "Father, help me.  You have to help me".

My kids have learned, well, the older ones anyway, that when my lips are moving but the sound is absent, that they'd best retreat.

I've yet to decide if that's a good or bad thing.

I digress.  If you're new here, I do that often.  Just stick with me.  I have a point coming eventually.

So earlier today I was thinking of how to explain to someone how life is right now.  And what came to mind was simple, yet profound for me.

I thought "It's not that God gives me an abundance of grace each day.  He doesn't.  He gives me just a spoonful, enough for me to make it moment by moment."

Then I began wondering why I'm left with a spoonful when I'd like a dump truck full.

Have you ever felt that way?

Sometimes I think I'm just parked in that mindset...  that I've been shortchanged somehow.

But oh goodness.  I love the Father and how He speaks to us in those moments of weakness and doubt.

"Phoebe, my child.  If I gave you a dump truck full of grace, you'd never come back to me to ask for more, to seek my comfort and peace.  You'd be self sufficient and then I couldn't make you strong through your weaknesses, giving you the chance to show others my glory."

It brought to mind a quote I read one time:

“Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

An abundance of grace would lead to pride which would lead to our thinking we no longer need the Father.

Isn't that how we work?  Things are going good so we're casual in our relationship with Him, praying when we remember, reading the Bible just when we feel guilty enough for not doing it and then going weeks or months again until the guilt builds back up .  Thinking we don't need Him because we're so great, money's in the bank, everyone is healthy and then.....

And then life happens.

Life always happens, smacking us in the face, reminding us that we've always needed the Father, whether we realize it or not.  Because the reality is that without His grace, we'd never even have those moments of thinking we don't need Him.

And isn't that backwards?  We don't "need" Him because all is well, but at the very core of everything is His grace that has sustained us and allowed us to have those moments in the first place.

And it's that same grace that gets us through the battles we'll all eventually face.  Yours may take on a different face than mine, but we're all going to face our own battles.  And each and every day, His grace is sufficient for those battles.

Every time I fall to my knees and ask for grace and mercy....

He gives me a spoonful.

And when I've licked every last drop off, you know what?  I find myself going right back to the feet of the Father and asking for another spoonful.

And He graciously always gives more, at just the right time, in just the right proportion.

When the kids are late for school and you're rushing out the door like a madwoman .... there's a spoonful.

When the doctor's office calls with the news you had prayed not to hear.... there's a spoonful.

When your husband walks out the door... there's a spoonful.

When you feel like 'failure' is all that will ever define you ... there's another spoonful waiting.

When whispers are spoken behind your back .... He's waiting for you, spoon in hand.

When you feel like ending it all ... He's bending down, offering you another spoonful.

When your marriage feels more like a boxing ring than an intimate friendship .. there's a spoonful.

When the bills are piled up and the bank empty... there's a spoonful.

When you feel like you just can't keep going .... lick off every last drop, He'll get you another spoonful.

Just a spoonful.

But it's enough.

Because He's always enough.

And through each and every spoonful, He's making me (and you) stronger.  And all the while, it brings Him glory.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  II Cor. 12:9-10

It's hard to feel weak.  But it's through those times that His power is magnified and we draw closer to Him.

May we boast in our weaknesses, faithfully seeking the Father....

....one spoonful at a time.